And finding peace while in it is possible
4 Things To Help You Find Peace In The Thick Of Estrangement
The good and bad news is you’re not alone in having your child estrange from you. By now you know there are thousands of us facing this pain. This post is to offer you 4 active ways to gain some peace in your life while you’re going through this extraordinarily painful experience. These actions can apply any time during the year but will help you get through holidays when the taboo, judgement and the pain can increase dramatically.
For My Grands
Today will be really hard for so many of us. I will be grieving, if you are too I hope you don’t mind me sharing something I am doing that helps me (most of the time). Lots of us talk about our wills or how we’re going to distribute things when we pass away. I came across something called “grandparents academy” a couple years ago. It’s for all grandparent situations not only alienated; but I was drawn to the section of it where it offers ideas on how we as alienated grands can do things while we don’t have access to our grandchildren. (I don’t pay for any of their memberships, I like their ideas)
When Good Enough Is Not
I write to you while in it, this epidemic of adult children estranging themselves from their parents.
When You Understand Their Choice To Estrange
We are taught some of the worst beliefs in dysfunctional families of origin by some of the most hurt people on the planet and we expect them to get everything right.
The Silence Of White American Mothers
I’m mourning collectively with half the country and am terrified for the people who now have to make plans of custody for their own children adopted or birthed and loved families who may become targets, or those who may have to plan for the deportation of their family members who have been here for ages and have grown families and communities, or make a safety plan while they figure out if their coworker or own family member will betray them to the homophobic american version of the nazi special commission the orange monster has in mind, and for the millions of girls, women and people with uteruses who will be assaulted with words weapons and denial of care. The echoes of nazi germany being denied by the other half of the country.
Estrangement and conflicting values
As the title of my essay reflects, this is, or was supposed to be, about estrangement and conflicting values. And it is. Mostly. It’s also about how the failures of white mothers like me have impacted this really really sick country.
And to many who will read this, you will say (rightly so) that I am centering myself. I am. In services to the message I hope to convey.
How traumatized families stay in the vile cycles
This time in our country, my life and growth in maturity, has taught me a great deal about why families defend abusers.
Like My Father
So, it’s true. I’m like my dad. I have a really insatiable feeling of wanderlust, a weird and sometimes inappropriate sense of humor, a belief that most anything is possible, have no idea how to get to those things most of the time and maintain a solid mix of skepticism mixed with unreasonable optimism. I will keep trying all the things to see where I land and in this latest chapter of my life, am determined to find the pleasure I have missed so much during my dark decade. And like him, I’m prone to long, deep bouts of depression.
Of Course The Bear
…the not joke of women choosing a bear to be caught in the woods with over a man isn’t a stretch when the men who are culturally trained to be vile abusers then painted as something harmless are turned loose on us in every generation