I write to you while in it, this epidemic of adult children estranging themselves from their parents.
Category: Essay
When You Understand Their Choice To Estrange
We are taught some of the worst beliefs in dysfunctional families of origin by some of the most hurt people on the planet and we expect them to get everything right.
The Silence Of White American Mothers
I’m mourning collectively with half the country and am terrified for the people who now have to make plans of custody for their own children adopted or birthed and loved families who may become targets, or those who may have to plan for the deportation of their family members who have been here for ages and have grown families and communities, or make a safety plan while they figure out if their coworker or own family member will betray them to the homophobic american version of the nazi special commission the orange monster has in mind, and for the millions of girls, women and people with uteruses who will be assaulted with words weapons and denial of care. The echoes of nazi germany being denied by the other half of the country.
Estrangement and conflicting values
As the title of my essay reflects, this is, or was supposed to be, about estrangement and conflicting values. And it is. Mostly. It’s also about how the failures of white mothers like me have impacted this really really sick country.
And to many who will read this, you will say (rightly so) that I am centering myself. I am. In services to the message I hope to convey.
Like My Father
So, it’s true. I’m like my dad. I have a really insatiable feeling of wanderlust, a weird and sometimes inappropriate sense of humor, a belief that most anything is possible, have no idea how to get to those things most of the time and maintain a solid mix of skepticism mixed with unreasonable optimism. I will keep trying all the things to see where I land and in this latest chapter of my life, am determined to find the pleasure I have missed so much during my dark decade. And like him, I’m prone to long, deep bouts of depression.
Of Course The Bear
…the not joke of women choosing a bear to be caught in the woods with over a man isn’t a stretch when the men who are culturally trained to be vile abusers then painted as something harmless are turned loose on us in every generation
Mother’s Day 2024
Parenting is hard. Motherhood is extraordinarily hard when a whole culture is contorting itself to prove over and over and over again how little it cares about birthing people, will not fight for them and allows our basic rights to evaporate. And there’s so much you don’t see behind a social media post:
Signed up. Didn’t stick around. So proud.
You may have found this post through my new QR codes. Welcome. It’s long past time to stop domestic violence. I talk about my experience here and how heart wrenching it is to meet young women who experience it today. 2024. It has to stop.
Focus
Focus. It’s something I haven’t had for years. My mind could not settle into staying with a task or a project or any long-term thing for so long. So now I’m learning to focus again.
Estrangement?
One of the best questions my therapist has asked me to date is: “Are you certain you’re estranged?” when I casually told her I’m estranged from most of my family. I have not been in touch with most of my family for most of my life.