Here’s to you, Mom. You left in a swirl of confusion that you didn’t know how to tie up. You weren’t afforded the brevity you might have blossomed with. You loved the ways you knew how to love.
Category: Essay
The Expectations Have To Go Away
Visit my Substack (link in post) reflecting on Mel Robbins’ book *Let Them*, and referencing the Gottman’s work around persistent unresolvable relationship issues as they can relate to estrangement. Both parties in estrangement may be experiencing similar emotions, yet we are often approaching the situation from different perspectives.
Fighting The Cultural Training Of Women To Be Silent
Visit my Substack (link in post) reflecting on how cultural training of women to be silent – in my case – in the face of abuse. This has been my journey to recognize my worth and embrace self-compassion. This post discusses how my family of origin and abusive marriage kept me silent, but now I know I can claim space and voice.
Do What I Say Says This Awful Culture
Visit my substack (link in post) exploring how both my choices and my adult children are rejecting culturally prescribed roles within families—like unwavering loyalty and obedience. Tipping over the dysfunctional social script that demands we all sacrifice personal well-being for appearances. This is not easy on either side of the experience.
Substack: Not Done With The Crying
Visit my Substack (link below) reflecting on online groups where parents gather when their adult children choose estrangement (spoiler or trigger alert they can get dark). Immature parenting rears its head in these places. Also covered is the fact healing from estrangement is a non-linear journey marked by grief, hope, and personal growth that has…
3 Things To Consider If You Don’t Know What Happened
Today I’m writing to you if you’re among the many estranged parents who feel blindsided by the estrangement and I’m sending you three things to consider in your situation. These may be spot on, they may be a bit relatable, they might be so outside your experience you cannot tell if they apply to your situation. So all I ask is for you to consider whether any of these three things might be part of the reasons your child has chosen to estrange from you.
Grandparent Alienation Three Experiences & A Glimmer Of Hope
Yet I hope. For reconciliation. For a new, better way of relating to one another. For a genuine knowing of one another. Yes. Even in this very very dark time of estrangement.
The Alienated Grandparent’s Guide To Living Well
This alienated grandparent’s guide to living well holds three things to tuck into your tool belt for the holidays and, well, every day. These suggestions for you are going to sound simplistic and you might just roll your eyes but hang in with me through this important activity.
In Defense Of The Indefensible (Latest Substack)
I don’t expect my kids to respect me simply because I am their mom. I do expect them to be civil with me because we are human beings and adults. And don’t get me wrong, I love a well placed curse. In conversation, heated or not. LOVE them. The harm comes when it turns into “you’re a”. Those are the non reversible stabs in need of emergency stitching but often left to bleed out.
Read My Contributor Article For Healing & CPTSD Magazine
Everything from how to have healthy fights, manage stress, resolve conflict and preserve relationships may have been lacking in the childhood or environment of parents of adult estranged children. Without learning those crucial skills, we brought them into our relationships and painted them on our kids.