Violence damaged my family — my silence afterward allowed that harm to continue. Talking about things – when anything is safe to talk about – we can help the next generations be what they dream of.
Author: shardswords
Do What I Say Says This Awful Culture
Visit my substack (link in post) exploring how both my choices and my adult children are rejecting culturally prescribed roles within families—like unwavering loyalty and obedience. Tipping over the dysfunctional social script that demands we all sacrifice personal well-being for appearances. This is not easy on either side of the experience.
Substack: Not Done With The Crying
Visit my Substack (link below) reflecting on online groups where parents gather when their adult children choose estrangement (spoiler or trigger alert they can get dark). Immature parenting rears its head in these places. Also covered is the fact healing from estrangement is a non-linear journey marked by grief, hope, and personal growth that has…
3 Things To Consider If You Don’t Know What Happened
Today I’m writing to you if you’re among the many estranged parents who feel blindsided by the estrangement and I’m sending you three things to consider in your situation. These may be spot on, they may be a bit relatable, they might be so outside your experience you cannot tell if they apply to your situation. So all I ask is for you to consider whether any of these three things might be part of the reasons your child has chosen to estrange from you.
Grandparent Alienation Three Experiences & A Glimmer Of Hope
Yet I hope. For reconciliation. For a new, better way of relating to one another. For a genuine knowing of one another. Yes. Even in this very very dark time of estrangement.
The Alienated Grandparent’s Guide To Living Well
This alienated grandparent’s guide to living well holds three things to tuck into your tool belt for the holidays and, well, every day. These suggestions for you are going to sound simplistic and you might just roll your eyes but hang in with me through this important activity.
Two Non Expert Theories On Adult Children Being Abusive Substack latest
The reality of all of this anger is so very complex. It has taken me into my 60s to reconcile so many things from my childhood, being married to an abuser, figuring out my part in all of my relationships failed or succeeding. Why would I expect my estranged adult child to reconcile their pain any faster?
In Defense Of The Indefensible (Latest Substack)
I don’t expect my kids to respect me simply because I am their mom. I do expect them to be civil with me because we are human beings and adults. And don’t get me wrong, I love a well placed curse. In conversation, heated or not. LOVE them. The harm comes when it turns into “you’re a”. Those are the non reversible stabs in need of emergency stitching but often left to bleed out.
2 Things I’m Using To Nourish Myself In This Time Of Famine Of Relationship
Growing Better & Stronger While Going Through It
Read My Contributor Article For Healing & CPTSD Magazine
Everything from how to have healthy fights, manage stress, resolve conflict and preserve relationships may have been lacking in the childhood or environment of parents of adult estranged children. Without learning those crucial skills, we brought them into our relationships and painted them on our kids.