Today will be really hard for so many of us. I will be grieving, if you are too I hope you don’t mind me sharing something I am doing that helps me (most of the time). Lots of us talk about our wills or how we’re going to distribute things when we pass away. I came across something called “grandparents academy” a couple years ago. It’s for all grandparent situations not only alienated; but I was drawn to the section of it where it offers ideas on how we as alienated grands can do things while we don’t have access to our grandchildren. (I don’t pay for any of their memberships, I like their ideas)
That’s where I got the idea to make memory/message spaces for all of my grands. It gives me the chance to build something outside of the anger of my children and gives me the chance to talk directly to my grandchildren; no matter when in their lives they get access to them.
For mine I am doing both physical and digital. I have one bin per grand where I will put the gifts I give them for all of the holidays we are missing with each other, including their cards-I send one card and put one card in the bin (I don’t think any of the cards I send are being given to them). I am setting up a digital library where I am reading books to them as toddlers, and recording messages to them from afar. The digital spaces will include the very few photos I have of/with them, some tokens of my life as I live it; like today I am going to a local freindsgiving and if I take any photos I will include those others are trips i take or hikes or kayaking…you get the point; they get to know I am a whole human out here.
The space for me is an ios library I keep; you can do a it on any platform that has been in existence for a long time. I wouldn’t suggest any software you have to pay for outside of your usual spaces (like icloud or whatever you use) because you never know what your circumstances will be in the future and you don’t want to lose those precious notes.
Anyway, it’s a thought. I love it because it helps me feel like I can keep them close and in the future whether I’m gone or reconciled, there is a record that I loved them so very deeply in the world. 
This photo is of a basket I wove for my grandson in 2023, who I am no longer allowed to see-things like this will be in their boxes.
Thanks for reading, talk to you soon