I opened twitter today and saw that Patton took a photo with chappelle. He was invited to guest during chapelle’s gig. Lots of people got mad at Patton for being friends with chapelle.
I get it. We want clear lines of some kind of something in this ever decaying online diatribe of opinions we spew into the void. *Raises hand* I’m so fucking guilty of this.
I love people who believe vile things. After these last few years, I have both learned about myself and the people I love who believe vile things. Here are a few things I need to keep in mind:
The people who have harmed me no longer exist to me. This list is short. It contains the abusive ex I mistakenly married when I was 17 who beat my oldest son with a cutting board, coax cables, branches and persistently hit him in the head, dragged me off a bed to the floor, climbed on top of me and choked me, hit me in the face, shoved me on the stairs while i was pregnant, persistently told me i was worthless. It includes my parent’s oldest son who told me he’d rape me. There are a few others, but the list is short.
It does not include the woman I’ve known for 40 years who believes the lies about the Capitol insurrection, or even though she says out loud she’s not worried, may secretly believe her gay son will go to hell thanks to the catholic church teachings.
It does not include a man I love deeply who voted for dumpy, still wishes he won, who also is a patient man who will not ask you your political affiliation before easily offering you help of any kind.
You and I both know our lives are so much more nuanced than these things. I’ll be the first to say it’s easy to cut people out who are vile in their beliefs. And I do. I will walk away in a heartbeat from someone.
The people who I disagree with and have the ability to talk to will get continued conversations with me.
The people who I disagree with and have no open door to walk through the conflicting opinions, don’t hold any space in my life.
That means if you voted for a criminal for president it doesn’t mean I cut you out of my life, it means I understand something about you but not everything about you.
That means if you spent time in the company of a child sex trafficker, I will cut you out of my life. Accepting child sexual abuse as a part of a friendship tells me something about your life that has no place in mine.
If you won’t grow, that’s on you. Patton seems like he wants to grow; chapelle, I’m not sure about.
The people who have opinions about how I choose to interact with any other person can literally fuck off.